One of the things that I have noticed about some people who volunteer is that they sometimes are not very happy about what they are doing. This is evidenced by the amount of grumbling they may do when they talk about the said volunteered-for efforts.
To be clear, I am absolutely, 100%, full on, without a doubt, guilty of this myself. Seriously - like, to a fault. In fact, I remember talking (complaining) about all the things on my plate at one time in my life that included being a single mom of two younger children, working full time, going to school part time, and volunteering for a number of things - yes, all at the same time. I felt overwhelmed, rightfully so. But a friend who patiently listened to all my woes quietly suggested to me that maybe there was too much going on and perhaps it was a good time to cut back on some of those things so life would be a little less stressful. (I'm looking at you, RF...)
That comment stung but it was the truth. In a really big way. But, it was really great advice which I eventually did take though it took time.
Were the things I was volunteering for good causes? Yes!
Were they things I was interested in? Of course!
Did my participation make a difference? Mmmm...maybe.
Should I have politely turned down those opportunities to volunteer? Most likely.
Now (slightly) older, the decision to invest in a particular event, program, or organization is made with a bit more thought and consideration. I want to be a productive member and bring value to the table...and I want to do it because, well, I WANT to. I now know that I CAN say no. And so can YOU.
Volunteering? Here are a few things to consider:
1) Not interested? Just say no. (PS: don't feel obligated to explain why you are saying no but if you do explain, do it with the intention of helping the other person understand what you might be interested in helping with if it applies in the future.)
2) If it interests you and promises to be challenging, consider saying yes despite the challenge because getting a bit out of your comfort zone can be helpful in building character. (Or building some other attribute, skill, or value that you hadn't considered before.)
3) If you aren't sure, ask questions until you can make the decision with confidence.
4) If you know you are already overtasked and have zero or very little margin in your life, please say no. Say no for you, for your people, and for the cause. When you overcommit, besides the high stress and anxiety you produce for yourself and possibly your family, you likely aren't able to bring your best to the table for this which can create its own issues.
5) If you say yes, say yes with a smile and have fun with it! It's not always going to be "fun" but then again, it might be. Why not make the best of it?
6) Interested but haven't been asked yet? Seek out the opportunity and let the committee / team know of your interest. Don't be shy!
A quick rant: when did it become required, or the "norm", to complain, grumble, gossip, and/or act irritated or mad about something that you volunteered for? In talking to some friends recently about a volunteer opportunity, we talked about how the people desired for those positions were those who actually WANTED to volunteer and be involved, not those that just say yes out of obligation.
Still not sure? Try this...
If your answer sounds something like this: "I'd love to", or "Oh! That sounds like fun, count me in!", or "I'm in!" - then you're in the right place.
If your answer sounds something like this: "I can if you need the help", "Yeah. I can probably make that work.", or "I guess so" - then just say no.
Please.
For the love of everything good...just say no.
For those looking for volunteers, a word of advice if I may:
1) Stop trying to fill a need with "a body", any body. Instead, think about those who might connect more deeply to the need and/or have a particular skillset that may be needed.
2) Be intentional in who you reach out to. And by the way, be able to verbally communicate why they were asked. ("We thought of you for this because of ________" sounds a lot better than "we are trying to get 6 people to help with ____.")
3) Be inclusive, not exclusive. Having a diverse group of people at the table with different experiences and different skills can be incredibly helpful in making the outcome something that is more well-rounded and complete.
4) Think outside the box. Stop asking the same people over and over and over and over again.
5) Don't ask for volunteers like it's a blanket statement...or put out a piece of paper for people to sign up for it. Just don't.
6) Extend a personal ask! This is a big one. Literally walk up to the person, call them, write an email or a hand written letter (a forgotten art!), DM them on social media...whatever it takes. Just ask them personally if they would consider participating (and specifically why you are asking them.)
One final thought...in case you need a good reason to actually volunteer, below is a link to a Harvard Medical School blog explaining how volunteering may be good for your body and for your mind - a great read! :-)
Thinking of something that might have been missed here? Leave it in the chat below. We can be better together.
May your next (or current) volunteer effort be meaningful, impactful, productive, and fun!
Celeste
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