Chazown VII

Just how many Chazown blog posts can a person have? I have no idea but this seems to be an ongoing process so I guess as many as it takes to get through the process. Will I ever really be "done" going through the process though? No...not really. It is going to be a life-long adventure.

It is kind of like being on an adventure in the wilderness, only I have a Guide and He knows the territory well. In fact, He has our adventure all planned out. Each turn is a surprise to me, but not to Him, because He has it planned that way. Every day is fresh and new. All I have to do is follow my Guide - so my part, in theory, is easy...although it really isn't as easy as it sounds. :-)

Did you think that the Chazown series was over since I actually named my own personal mission statement? Well, surprise to you (and me too), that isn't it. After further reading I have learned that there are five areas of our lives that need to also be examined to determine their soundness. They are likened to spokes in a wheel...you need all of them. If one spoke is broke then it alters the solidity of the wheel and it will eventually break. These spokes, in this study, are considered the fundamentals of life. They are:

• Your relationship with God
• Your relationships with people
• Your financial health
• Your physical health
• Your life's work

The idea is that in order to successfully fulfill your God-given life's mission, you need to make sure that these five areas of your life are on track and solid. To help figure out the status of these areas of your life, the book lists out several statements and asks the reader to put an "x" next to those that apply to their life. I'll list them below and mark those that I marked while doing this exercise:

Your relationship with God:

X I usually feel distant from God.

X I don't spend much time praying or reading the Bible.

X I'm inconsistent in my relationship with God.

I struggle with doubts about God.

I am not involved in a church.

Your relationships with people:

I am in one or more painful or destructive relationships.

I often feel lonely.

X In few (or none) of my relationships am I helping others draw closer to Christ, nor are they doing that for me.

X I do not have a mentor.

X I fear intimacy.

Your financial life:

X I carry credit card balances from month to month.

X I feel financially hindered from doing some things God wants me to do.

X I'm often worried about finances.

X If I didn't have income for one month, I couldn't pay my bills.

X I'm not tithing 10% of my income to God.

Your physical health:

I'm often tired or worn down.

I struggle with sexual promiscuity, smoking, or drug or alcohol abuse.

I haven't had a physical in years.

I don't exercise regularly.

I think the four basic food groups are Taco Bell, McDonald's, Wendy's and KFC.

Your life's work (including volunteer service and raising family):

I feel little or no passion about my work.

X I dream about doing something different.

X I don't think my work has much, if anything, to do with God.

X My gifts and passions are underutilized.

I don't have a clue what I need to do with this part of my life.

I recognize that some of this is pretty personal but my hope is that by sharing it others will feel comfortable being honest with themselves about what their answers are as well. You might notice that I'm not going into detail about any of them though. :-)

The idea here is to determine which of the five areas has the most "x's" and realize that there is a need to improve in that area. All areas are equally important but everyone is different and their results will be just as unique. There are two options on what to do next:

Option # 1 - pick the area that has the most x's and create a plan for that area to improve it. Then after some time, choose another one that needs to be addressed and do the same thing, working on one at a time until all five areas are addressed over a period.

Option # 2 - go through each of the fundamentals of life and make a plan for each one, working on them at the same time.

I am going with option # 1 and have chosen the most glaring opportunity (note that I'm calling it an opportunity, not "problem area"): My financial life. I'll post those goals at another time but for now I encourage you to take a moment and do a little self-assessment. Where are the opportunities for you? Do your results surprise you?

Chazown VI

I obviously took a bit of a break from blogging about my Chazown process. Although I've contemplated blogging over the last few weeks, I decided not to. I think partly because I wanted to set things in motion. I think the other part, and probably much more accurate, was the fact that I was scared to death to do this post. Seriously. The reason why I have been scared is because this is where I name my Chazown. Well...here we are...so lets get on with it, shall we?

Did you know that God gave you core values, God gave you gifts, and God gave you experiences...and where those overlap is where His Chazown for your life explodes in spontaneous spiritual combustion! (I can't take credit for writing that...it comes from Craig...but I love it all the same!)

It is hard to fathom sometimes (read that oftentimes) that God created me (of all people!) with a plan in mind. That He has a purpose for me. The spiritual part of me says, "yeah, I know that..." but the other part of me says, "how could that ever be possible?!"

On a side note I have to say that one of the biggest things that God has been working on me through this process is the fact that I am so full of pride that I probably really should bust from just that. I think that my experiences in the church and just the way that my persona is, I think more of me than I do of anyone else. I am not supposed to say that, I know, I know. But it is the truth.

I find that when someone is talking to me I often turn the conversation to me somehow. When I am thinking of things, my thoughts typically turn to me in one way or another. I am a heathen. I am wretched. I am a sinner and sometimes I just know that if it were possible, I would be considered the sinner of sinners.

"Whoa sister" you say? "Stop talking and thinking like that!" you say? Well, I say that it is time to be honest...be brutally honest...and let God's light shine in the corners of my life where it needs to so we can get things out in the open. Exposing things like this will cause embarrassment...but let me tell you something if I may...it may be icky, embarrassing, and messy, but having it exposed allows for deliverance from it. I have been checked. I have been put on notice. I have been exposed by the one God, the only God, and with that light shining right at me I have but only one thing to do...surrender to Him allowing Him to do His work in me to get me past that and onto what He has in store for my life...ultimately to glorify Him.

That brings me back to this Chazown-seeking process to find the purpose that God has designed specifically for me. And the next part of the process was to answer a few questions that ultimately lead me into the discovery of my Chazown...

If money were no object and I could do anything I wanted for the rest of my life, what would I do?

• Start a women's home or ministry that is Christian-based that reaches out to women with abused pasts or present.

Besides loving, caring for, and ministering to those who are most important to me, what is the number one thing that I believe God wants to accomplish through me?

• Show unconditional love to women who have never known such love.
• Make others uncomfortable by stretching them to outreach to others in one way or another.

My Chazown Mission Statement

To go into places where most people won't go, where the people are "forgotten", to share the love of Jesus with people who have little to no h ope, in practical and non-judgmental ways, and to organize a group of believers to go with me to do the same.

"Those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness. All hard work brings profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty." ~ Proverbs 14:22-23

Short-term Goals:

1. Research and identify local women's homes and organizations that are specifically for women.
2. Become familiar with their mission, values, leadership and services.
3. Contact the organizations to find out what their needs are and how those needs can be met.

Long-term Goals:

1. Become embedded in one particular organization by volunteering time and resources by June 2010.
2. Establish personal relationships with the women being served by the organization by meeting their practical needs, accepting them as they are, being non-judgmental and being among them so often that love and trust is created and firmly rooted by September 2010.
3. Organize transportation for the women enabling them to attend church to be loved and fed by our church family and ultimately to become "fully devoted followers of Christ".
4. Enlist the help of others in the church to also become embedded in the organization in ways that are practical.
5. Assist in the discipleship of the women to help them find the Chazown that God has specifically planned for their lives in the timing that God will allow.

And I am so moved into action...Lord help...I can't do this without You. This is all about You...this is all for You...and I give You all of the glory!

Fridays at the Pentagon

More on Chazown soon...for now...

Published: 27 November 2009

By JOSEPH L. GALLOWAYMcClatchy Newspapers

Over the last 12 months, 1,042 soldiers, Marines, sailors and Air Force personnel have given their lives in the terrible duty that is war. Thousands more have come home on stretchers, horribly wounded and facing months or years in military hospitals.

This week, I'm turning my space over to a good friend and former roommate, Army Lt. Col. Robert Bateman, who recently completed a yearlong tour of duty in Iraq and is now back at the Pentagon.

Here's Lt. Col. Bateman's account of a little-known ceremony that fills the halls of the Army corridor of the Pentagon with cheers, applause and many tears every Friday morning. It first appeared on May 17 on the Weblog of media critic and pundit Eric Alterman at the Media Matters for America Website.

It is 110 yards from the "E" ring to the "A" ring of the Pentagon. This section of the Pentagon is newly renovated; the floors shine, the hallway is broad, and the lighting is bright. At this instant the entire length of the corridor is packed with officers, a few sergeants and some civilians, all crammed tightly three and four deep against the walls. There are thousands here.

This hallway, more than any other, is the `Army' hallway. The G3 offices line one side, G2 the other, G8 is around the corner. All Army. Moderate conversations flow in a low buzz. Friends who may not have seen each other for a few weeks, or a few years, spot each other, cross the way and renew.

Everyone shifts to ensure an open path remains down the center. The air conditioning system was not designed for this press of bodies in this area. The temperature is rising already. Nobody cares.

10:36 hours: The clapping starts at the E-Ring. That is the outermost of the five rings of the Pentagon and it is closest to the entrance to the building. This clapping is low, sustained, hearty. It is applause with a deep emotion behind it as it moves forward in a wave down the length of the hallway.

A steady rolling wave of sound it is, moving at the pace of the soldier in the wheelchair who marks the forward edge with his presence. He is the first. He is missing the greater part of one leg, and some of his wounds are still suppurating. By his age I expect that he is a private, or perhaps a private first class.

Captains, majors, lieutenant colonels and colonels meet his gaze and nod as they applaud, soldier to soldier. Three years ago when I described one of these events, those lining the hallways were somewhat different. The applause a little wilder, perhaps in private guilt for not having shared in the burden ... yet.

Now almost everyone lining the hallway is, like the man in the wheelchair, also a combat veteran. This steadies the applause, but I think deepens the sentiment. We have all been there now. The soldier's chair is pushed by, I believe, a full colonel.

Behind him, and stretching the length from Rings E to A, come more of his peers, each private, corporal, or sergeant assisted as need be by a field grade officer.

11:00 hours: Twenty-four minutes of steady applause. My hands hurt, and I laugh to myself at how stupid that sounds in my own head. My hands hurt... Please! Shut up and clap. For twenty-four minutes, soldier after soldier has come down this hallway - 20, 25, 30.... Fifty-three legs come with them, and perhaps only 52 hands or arms, but down this hall came 30 solid hearts.

They pass down this corridor of officers and applause, and then meet for a private lunch, at which they are the guests of honor, hosted by the generals. Some are wheeled along.... Some insist upon getting out of their chairs, to march as best they can with their chin held up, down this hallway, through this most unique audience. Some are catching handshakes and smiling like a politician at a Fourth of July parade. More than a couple of them seem amazed and are smiling shyly.

There are families with them as well: the 18-year-old war-bride pushing her 19-year-old husband's wheelchair and not quite understanding why her husband is so affected by this, the boy she grew up with, now a man, who had never shed a tear is crying; the older immigrant Latino parents who have, perhaps more than their wounded mid-20s son, an appreciation for the emotion given on their son's behalf. No man in that hallway, walking or clapping, is ashamed by the silent tears on more than a few cheeks. An Airborne Ranger wipes his eyes only to better see. A couple of the officers in this crowd have themselves been a part of this parade in the past.

These are our men, broken in body they may be, but they are our brothers, and we welcome them home. This parade has gone on, every single Friday, all year long, for more than four years.

Did you know that?

The media haven't yet told the story.

V/R TKTOM KUNKCOL, GSDivision Chief for ODOHQDA, G3/5/7

Chazown V

Core Values...this has been a tough thing for me to identify what mine are. I have noodled on this for days now but things finally started flowing when I read the pertinent questions:

1. What makes me angry with a righteous anger?
2. What do I absolutely love, more than anything else?

After making a list of answers to these questions, of which I will spare you, there certainly were common themes. I then went online and looked up the list of core values and was able to easily identify what mine were. It may sound strange but when I read the core value I "felt" it..."knew" these were mine:

1. Accountability
2. Attitude
3. Authenticity
4. Compassion
5. Courage
6. Encouragement
7. Family
8. Integrity
9. Joy
10. Mercy
11. Thankfulness
12. Transparency

The core values listed in blue are the values that I feel that I am currently practicing today. The values in black are the values that I feel as though I am developing, working on, need to get better at, or have not been as active with them although I know that they are my core values because of experiences in my past...and like I said, I can "feel" them.

I want to say this about this process that I'm going through...in the past when I read through exercises similar to these that I am doing now, I would just brush through them. It is not as easy as I thought it would be to do this. Even though I feel like I know myself pretty well, there is something to be said about actually writing the responses down. Forcing myself to commit to these answers has been a challenge.

I am finding that I have to filter the information and I'm a little startled by what I'm realizing. Everything seems to fall into five buckets...who I once was pre-salvation, who I once was post-salvation, who I am now, who I thought I was until I did this process, and who I want to be. Within all of that I am seeing things that are scary, shocking, embarrassing, saddening, and completely exciting. The pendulum definitely swings high on both sides...

Chazown IV

I'm still working through this process!!!!

One of the steps in the process of figuring out what your chazown is happens to be figuring out what your spiritual gifts are. I took a test a few weeks ago but I came across another one that was through the chazown program online (yes, I've added the online environment to my list of materials!)

I really focused on answering the 100 + / - questions as accurately as I could although some were rather difficult to know how to answer. The system then takes your answers and a magical list is spit out as to what your spiritual gifts are. Mine? In this order:

Faith - the ability to see God's purpose in a situation and to trust His wisdom and power to accomplish that purpose. Essentially it is the gift of vision which enables one to believe God for what seems impossible.

Administration - the ability to plan and coordinate the gifts and talents of a group of Christians to reach certain objectives. Essentially it is the capacity to organize persons and resources to meet specific goals.

Mercy - the ability to feel sincere compassion beyond normal Christian sympathy for persons who are in distress and to provide practical support to meet their needs. Essentially it is cheerful ministry to the undeserving and to those in crisis.

Shepherding - the ability of a pastor or a layperson to care for a specific group of Christians by guiding, nurturing and protecting them. Essentially it is taking responsibility for the spiritual growth of a specific group of believers.

Discernment - the ability to determine whether certain teachings or actions originate from God, humanity, or Satan. Essentially it is the unique capacity to distinguish truth from error.

Does anyone else see the humor in the definition of my top spiritual gift as listed above? "It is the gift of vision"????? Here I am feeling an overwhelming burden to figure out what my unique vision is and it is saying that I have the gift of vision? I find that rather ironic, don't you?

Thinking about these five spiritual gifts I feel pretty confident that they are relatively accurate. I can think of examples for each of them where I've seen evidence of them in my life over the years:

Faith # 1:
I remember being over in Africa and after driving for a few days to get to our ultimate destination of Marforga in Mozambique I was incredibly thirsty. We had ran out of water on our way and without having the necessary items to purify the water that we could get, we didn't dare drink it for fear of getting sick. When we arrived at the tent area where we would sleep for the next week or so there was a big five gallon jug of water. In desperation I went over to it and filled my bottle that was dry to the bone and drank the whole thing down without stopping to take a breath! Whew! Just as I finished drinking the bottle another team member came over and said, "you didn't just drink from that one, did you?" To all of our horror, I had just drank out of the bottle of water that had not yet been through the purification process.

That began my new term: "God-Bubble". Everyone began to pray over me and I declared myself to be in the God-Bubble and that no sickness could touch me because of God's protection. I didn't get sick at all. I can't tell you how terrible that water is over there. They wash their clothes in it, go to the bathroom in it, bathe in it...all sorts of bugs breed in it...terrible! From a human perspective, I should have gotten malaria or something worse, but nothing.

Faith # 2:
During a trip to SC to visit me, my mom accidentally stepped in a nest of fire ants. They bit her pretty good and her feet, ankles and lower legs ended up severely swollen. To the point, in fact, that she couldn't wear shoes and had a hard time walking. After a few unsuccessful attempts to get her to anoint her feet with oil while I prayed for them over the phone, I finally anointed my own feet and prayed over them. I had full faith that since my body came out of her body, I was like an extension of her so praying over my own feet was the same as praying over hers. The next day her feet were completely healed. Yep...that's a God thing people...

Administration & Mercy:
Back at Neighborhood Church in Cali I had a deep burden for women that were going through touch times and so I got involved with two women's homes /shelters. With one of them, we adopted one of their homes that had five women living there (along with their children). We would work with the organization to fulfill the practical needs of the organization but also the needs of the women and the house itself. So I was in charge of organizing days for a group from our church to go to their home to paint, landscape, clean, tile, cook, and provide supplies. We worked hand-in-hand with the women so they would have a sense of ownership in the home and help maintain it...but that also helped us establish the relationships with them that we were eventually able to see come to fruition with some as they accepted Christ in their lives and became a vital part of our church or another church.

Shepherding:
Working with the other women's home another gal and I from Neighborhood lead a small group. We would pick the women up, take them to the church, invest and share in each other's lives, and take them back to the shelter. Some of the women in our small group from the shelter ended up being some of the most passionate Christ-loving, Christ-serving people I have ever met. Those are deeply cherished memories and friendships that I hold close to my heart. It is amazing to see God work in people's lives...

Discernment:
I once was asked to attend a revival through an organization that I was not familiar with. As soon as I walked in the door I could feel the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Everything in me was telling me to turn around and walk back out and not look back but I had promised my friend that I would go with her. I didn't want to disappoint her but looking back at it now, I should have not just walked out, but ran out. I really just couldn't get out of there fast enough. I knew just as clear as I knew my own name that this whole thing was not of God. When things were getting a bit out of hand in the room, I quietly excused myself to go to the bathroom just to get out of there...what I found was another lady in the bathroom who was quite upset. She was feeling the same thing I was and was in the same situation I was in. We stood and talked and I believe we even prayed together, right there in the bathroom.

Well, thanks for going on a trip down memory lane. It has been helpful to do this. It makes me miss certain times in my life where I feel I was much more engaged in my walk with Christ. It is also helping piece together a picture of the life that I am supposed to be living. This may sound corny but in some strange way I feel like a person who has had some sort of memory lapse and is just now getting bits and pieces of it back. Like the fog is starting to lift and although nothing is clear yet, I know that it is less foggy. It is as I can sense the sun is about to rise and I'll be able to clearly see soon...and so I wait...

Chazown - Part III

One of the steps that needs to be taken to help discover your chazown is to figure out what your core values are. Do you already know what they are? Here are some guidelines and tips...and things to think about that Craig provided:

• Core values are what you cherish at your core...it is what you aim at with your life.
• When you're in touch with your God-given core values, they will rearrange and direct your energies, your time, your thoughts.
• What do you treasure?
• What do you stand for?
• What would you fight for?
• What do you know is so important that you'll let go of everything else in order to grasp it?
• God has put your personal core values deep in your heart. They're there for a reason, a purpose - to help you aim for and hit the right target for your life.

A few other excerpts that I found profound for me personally...and maybe you will to...

• As God gives you a vision, He will do two other things as well:

1 - He will start to work IN you... (Exciting!)

a) God often works that way. He sends you where you don't want to go to learn what you thought you already knew. (Humbling...)

b) And He'll keep working in you until you've learned His lessons. (This makes me want to learn my lessons early on...but it may already be too late for that. Let me learn now, if I haven't already!)

2 - He will work THROUGH you to fulfill the vision... (this gives me a "feel good" feeling...)

a) What you desire least, you need the most. (and this makes me a bit nervous...what could this apply to? Or is this what I just experienced? I'm sure that it isn't a one-off kind of thing.)

• Setbacks are often setups for God to act. (oh wow!)
• The difference between the truth that you know and the truth that you live equals the pain that you experience. (Yikes! Go back and read that again! And again!)
• Only when what's inside lines up with what's outside can you hope to accomplish what He has called you to do. (Makes sense but sounds easier said than done...although it CAN be done!)

I'm going to stop here and ponder...there is a lot of information and although it all makes sense...it all also needs to absorb and become a part of my life.

Do you know what your core values are?

Chazown - Part II

The first exercise in this study is to write your own epitaph. There are specific statements that you are asked to finish. This is looking forward, what I want it to say...NOT looking at the past because you can't change the past. Here are my answers...my epitaph...

1. The thing that was most important to me was...relationships with people: family, friends and even strangers.
2. People say I stood for...the poor and the broken hearted (as an advocate and by hands on helping in practical ways.)
3. I made a difference in my world by...helping others who had lived a hard life.
4. God was glorified because I...showed people what unconditional love is by sharing the love Jesus with them.
5. People knew I loved them because...I did not judge them and I accepted them as they were, no matter what they had done in the past.
6. The reason I expect God to say "well done" is...because I showed the love to others and shared His love with them so they could also come to know Him and share that with others.

What would your answers be? What would you want your epitaph to look like?