Balancing Life

Finding a balance is sometimes a bit of a challenge for me. Most people associate balance with work-life balance; the idea of balancing your personal life with your work life so as not to let your work life overtake your personal life. But there are other areas as well.

One of those other areas for me is the spiritual-non spiritual balance when it comes to blogging, facebooking and tweeting. We all know that all three areas are types of social media very prevalent today. As I read through other people's posts through the various methods I notice that they typically have a solid slant, one way or the other. You can pretty much tell who their audience is or who they are trying to reach out to.

For example, I follow a good number of pastors that I have never even met on Twitter. It is amazing to me how many times a day they can come up with something to say that is motivational or inspirational. They often provide links to their blogs where they provide great insights into a God-moment, lessons or thoughts. Their audience is clear. For some, the audience is Christian leaders. For others, the audience is a wide array of pastors. For a smaller group, their audience is their youth group.

The bottom line is that their audience is known and clear - at least in my mind as the reader. Do I feel like those posts aren't for me because I am not a leader, a pastor or a youth? No. Actually, I can usually get quite a bit out of just about any of their posts and I often feel like that nugget was meant just for me. Funny how that works.

So when I sit here and type away at my own blog or update my Twitter or Facebook account, it is interesting that I sometimes struggle to find the balance of who my audience is...who it is that I'm trying to reach out to. You might find it interesting that it is not a rare thing for me to write something out, delete it, reword it, type it out again, delete it and end up with the same thing I started with...or something completely different. Doing all of this out of an effort to not offend someone, not seem to "preachy", not go too far into Bible-thumphood...or on the other hand not be too secular, appear hypocritical, or worldly.

But what would happen if I lived my whole life like that? I'd be a mess! How do I know that? Because I've lived my life like that in the past; trying to figure out just the right thing to do or say for each person that I'm around. Thankfully I don't live in that hell any longer but live only to please One - the God who gave His Son to die on the cross for me, for my sins...and for you and yours.

So while I still catch myself stopping and second guessing what I'm writing, I'm thankful that I'm able to release the anxiety of walking the fine line between too much and not enough, in order to just be myself...the way that God intended it to be. My hope is that by doing so everyone will get something out of it...feel like there is that one piece that was meant just for them to read.

What about you? Where are you trying to find your balance? I encourage you to stay true to who you are, who God made you to be!

The New Year Challenge

The new year is just days away...

A fresh start...

A new perspective...

A new day...

What do you want to be different for you this year?

What are you resolving to do?

Where will your focus be?

What will you do with your passions?

Where will your purpose take you?

What adventure will you go on?

Would you consider giving your first 21 days of the new year (January 2 - 22) to God?

Join me and others as we embark on a 21 day "Daniel fast" where we will seek a more intimate relationship with Jesus while praying and fasting for individual needs / desires, all while exploring what our God-given purpose (chazown) is.

http://www.jentezenfranklin.org/fasting/index.php or

http://www.daniel-fast.com/

http://www.chazown.com/

If you would like to partner together to work through both, the Chazown experience and the Daniel Fast, let me know! We can motivate and encourage each other!

Think about it...why let it be "just another day"?

The Discipline of Servant Humility

In John 13:1 – 17 reads the story about Jesus, who knew that He was about to die – and incidentally, knew who was going to betray Him, washed His disciples feet. For most of us, having someone get down on their knees in front of us and washing our feet would be too much. We would be embarrassed, we probably wouldn’t want them to continue, we’d ask them to stop until it was obvious they were not going to. But can you imagine Jesus Himself, taking off His robe, wrapping a towel around His waist, and getting down on His knees in front of you, washing your feet and then drying them with the towel that is wrapped around Him? I’m pretty sure that would be one of the most humbling situations ever.

Now that you have thought about how you would feel, think about why you would feel that way. In verse 1 it says, “Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.” Wow. Loved them to the end. In other words, He just didn’t start out loving them and then took for granted that they would know He loved them…He didn’t “peter out” (pun intended) with showing His love in the middle of the relationship…He didn’t think so much of Himself (and how many of us would be thinking of others when we knew we were about to die) that He disregarded His love for them. No, Jesus loved His disciples to the end…and even in the midst of all that He had going on.

After washing their feet Jesus gets dressed and goes back to His place at the table and asks the disciples if they understand what He has just done for them. Jesus explains that by doing that He has “set an example that you should do as I have done for you.” So not only was Jesus loving them to the end, but He was setting an example for them to continue to immulate in their own lives with other people.

Don’t mistake this story as a feel good moment where you cheer for Jesus and go on with your life. No. This is, very clearly, a call to action. Each of us as disciples of Christ are called to serve others with the same humility and lasting fortitude as Jesus did. We are called to serve others, showing love even to the end. We are called to serve others despite what may be going on in our own lives…despite how busy we may have become (and I would argue that only we are to blame if we have allowed ourselves to get so busy that we never have time to serve others).

My devotional says it best: "His example from 2000 years ago is still the example for us to follow. In so doing, we continue to ask the question and seek the answer to the following: “Will the leader please stand up?” Not the person who holds the title or the position, but the role model. Not the highest paid person in the firm, but the risk taker. Not the person with the most perks, but the servant. Not the person who promotes himself, but the promoter of others. Not the administrator, but the initiator. Not the taker, but the giver. Not the talker, but the listener."

Make no mistake about it, we are as much of leaders as we allow ourselves to be. When you read “leaders” know that this is not a call to just the leaders around you, but it is a call to you and I as well. When you take Jesus’ example of serving others throughout His lifetime and you couple it with the Biblical call to live life together, we can easily see that this is for everyone, everwhere. It is obvious that we have some work to do…it is obvious that we are called to do more in the way of serving others. At least I know I am…are you? Think about it…

Lord, I am sorry that I have not always been the servant that you want me to be. I ask for your forgiveness as I have gone about my own life as if it is the only thing that matters. I want to be Your servant and follow in Your footsteps – be more like You. Help me to see clearly the opportunities to do that. Help me to get beyond myself and my own life and use me to speak into other people’s lives. You are the ultimate example of who I am supposed to become. Let it be so…

Living Life Together

It isn’t unusual; being humbled by God’s love through the lessons that He provides in various ways. As I sit and think more and more about the lessons that are being taught in the Childrens Ministry, I am again humbled with the realization that God truly is in control.


LifeKids (the group of older kids) and Grace Place (younger kids) are learning two different lessons but they very nicely can fit into each other. LK will be learning about following Jesus is more than just talking about it, it’s following his promptings. This often comes in “small” ways of helping others. So this week they will be talking about seeing a need and meeting that need. Things as easy as being nice to someone, offering an encouraging word to someone when they are down, helping someone when they need help, etc. That, to me, is just daily life stuff that we often don’t think about…and likely rarely connect the dots of doing that to God. (I think we tend to think of big things being connected to God, but not the little things.)

In Grace Place they are learning that God has put people in our lives to help us. This could be in the form of a parent, sibling, relative, teacher, friend, etc.

Since I have the honor of reading through all of the material for classes each week, I am able to ponder both lessons being taught. When the two worlds of LK and GP collide, I really see God impressing to me that those two things = living life together. When you have people in your life that help you, who take time to see your need and fill it, and that is returned to the person, that is part of living life together!

But more often than not, people are really hesitant to truly live life together. Why? When you look back through scripture you can see that people lived life together to such a degree that they would sell their own stuff to help others pay off their debt! That is something that would seem very far fetched in our world today. But do you think that people don’t want to allow others into their lives in such a close way because they don’t want to be “bothered”? Or is it that they don’t want to bother anyone? Is it because they are afraid of being judged? Or are they busy judging the other person? Or could it be that we allow ourselves to be so busy that we don’t make time for such a relationship? But I challenge that we make time for the things we want to have as a priority. Maybe it is because we are afraid of being hurt (again) and in some cases, we might be afraid of hurting the other person (again).

No matter the reason we may have for not allowing people into our lives and not reaching out to live our lives together with others, one thing is for certain, we were not made to live in any other way beside relationally. We are a relational people. Although voids are only truly filled by having Christ in our lives, having relationships with others is the main thing that we were made to do…and by the way, that especially includes our relationship with Jesus.

So while we are commanded to guard our hearts (I didn’t make that up, it’s in the Bible), and we must use discernment to know who we can truly expose all of our hearts to, we are just not meant to not live life together with others. We just aren’t made that way. I encourage you – and at the same time encourage myself – to allow yourself to live life with others. To experience the fullness of living life together. To see a need and meet that need. To realize the people that God has put in your life for a reason. To allow others to step in and fill the gaps in your life by encouraging you, loving you, and praying for you.

This week’s lessons are profoundly timely being that Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days. What and who are you thankful for this year? How can you honor God’s gift of friendships that He specifically chose for you? Life life together!

Lord, thank You that You have provided some of the most amazing people in my life; from family to friends to my own church family! You definitely knew what You were doing when You put this puzzle together! Help me to know when to open my heart to others, know when to help others, know how to recognize a need and provide the resources to be able to meet it, and be constantly in a state of thankfulness for the people that You have blessed me to live life with!

When You Least Expect It...

Standing in the kitchen of my dad's house with Connie and LaNece. A little bit of bantering never hurt anyone. We are just having some fun and some laughs.

All of a sudden we notice that it is getting really dark outside, like there is a serious storm brewing.

Connie leaves the room to check things out. LaNece and I go over to the window to see what is going on.

I begin to notice waves coming across through the air. It is as if I am watching everything through a special lens that is moving. It all seems blurry and the air is thicker than I've ever experienced. Somehow the pressure in the air begins to literally force LaNece and I down to the floor. It is as if we are moving in slow motion.

It is then that I realize it is a nuclear blast that we are experiencing. There is no longer sound. Just pressure. I can still see LaNece right next to me as we are falling to the floor. The last thing I remember was us holding each other as I tell her that I love her but she can't hear me. The pressure in the air is deafening. I desperately want her to hear me.

In some strange way it becomes peaceful and I feel like it is OK that she didn't hear me because I know that she already knows. I see her lips moving as she tells me she loves me and then her eyes close as she slips from this life. I know that I am right behind her.

The tears began to flow from such a curiously touching and terminal moment. I am overwhelmed with emotion. And then I wake up...tears streaming down my face. The experience of the incredibly vivid dream is unshakable from my mind but I am unable to fully tell the story of the dream to anyone without crying. Writing it is no exception, even three years later.

The power of a dream...what emotions they can evoke...what depths they can live in...how dormant they can become...until one day, when you least expect it...

Muck It!

What? Muck it?

Yes! Muck it!

"Muck it" or "Mucking" is a term used for removing the bodily waste of animals from an area.

There are certainly times in our lives when we need to muck it. We need to get rid of the waste that is filling an area of our lives and is no longer doing any good. However, it should be noted that the "muck" can actually be used to grow beautiful things.

I recently realized that I had allowed the muck to get pretty deep in one particular area of my life. It was something from the past that basically festered into something it should not have been, at least in my mind. But looking at it now, I am more inclined to think that God intended it to be that way for a reason. So I could go through the motions of mucking it.

So over the course of the last several months I have been mucking it, ever so slowly. Just shoveling away at the depth and high level of muck that was beginning to cloud my vision. But I feel that I have come to the end of this particular pile of muck and have thrown the last shovel full away. What I have found under all that muck is nothing but beauty. God's amazing love and life lessons that could not have been grown or found had the muck not been there all along.

I am thankful for the beauty and the freedom that has been found in the end. I am also thankful for the life lessons that came along with it. Sometimes we need to experience the muck to be able to fully appreciate and be passionate about the non-muck...and to ensure that we never create the muck for someone else. It must be noted, however, that in order to get to this point, I had to go through the muck.

So the next time you are feeling like things are heavy, dark and just plain stink...just remember to muck it! It's all in God's plan! :-)

Be Still...

Anyone who knows me (even just a little) knows that it is rare to find me actually just sitting still. It probably appears more like that from the outside of my life looking in than it really is, but I can't deny that I am pretty consistently on the go or doing something.

So I'm sure you can imagine the amount of dismay I experienced when I started to feel that God was very specifically telling me to "be still" over the last week. It started with a very specific scripture from Exodus 14:14 that says, "The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." (Hold your peace = be quiet)

Then it turned to Psalm 4:4&5 that says, "Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Selah. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord."

And that made me think of another scripture: "Be still, and know that I am God..." Psalm 46:10.

Be still, you say? Really? God is, of course, right in that I need to be still. But it is more than just being still. It is about allowing God to be God...and taking that a step farther, recognizing that He IS God:

• I believe that God wants me to allow Him to defend me (something I have been hearing since about July of last year) and not try to defend myself. ("The Lord will fight for you...")


• I believe that God wants me to trust Him with every aspect of my life.


• I believe that God wants me to literally be still. Yes, even that.


• I believe that God wants me to get to know Him at a deeper, more intimate level than ever before.


• I believe that God wants to speak to me clearly, directing my path.


• I believe that God is moving, that He never actually stopped, even though I did.


• I believe that God is God...and that He is going to use me in a way that only He could create.


• I believe that God is inviting me to the depths to show me a love that I have never known.


• I believe...

"Who can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults. Keep back Your servant also from presumptuous (defiant) sins; Let them not have dominion over me. Than I shall be blameless, and I shall be innocent of great (much) transgression. Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, Oh Lord, my strength (rock) and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:12-14

"I will praise You, O Lord, with my whole heart; I will tell of all Your marvelous works. I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High." Psalm 9:1-2

"One thing I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to inquire in His temple...Hear, O Lord, when I cry with my voice! Have mercy also upon me, and answer me. When You said, "Seek My face," my heart said to You, "Your face, Lord, I will seek. Do not hide Your face from me; Do not turn Your servant away in anger; You have been my help; Do not leave me nor forsake me, O God of my salvation." Psalm 27:4 & 7-9

"You are my hiding place; you shall preserve me from trouble; you shall surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7

"My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and appear before God?...Deep calls unto deep at the noise of Your waterfalls; all Your waves and billows have gone over me. The Lord will command His lovingkindness in the daytime, and in the night His song shall be with me - a prayer to the God of my life." Psalm 42:2 & 7 - 8

"O God, You are my God; early will I seek You; my soul thirsts for You; my flesh longs for You in a dry and thirsty land where there is no water. So I have looked for You in the sanctuary to see Your power and Your glory. Because Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You. Thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness (abundance) and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips. I will remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help, therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; your right hand upholds me." Psalm 63:1-8

I am listening God...and I am responding...have Your way...I am Yours... Amen

For The Religiosity Of It All

If you walked up to 20 strangers and asked them to define religion, you are likely going to get many different answers. I remember at one point in my life when people would ask if I am religious, I'd say yes. That seemed like the appropriate answer. Now when people put me into the "religious" category, I somehow feel offended. Why? Because in my mind the term religious has gained a negative connotation. I tend to categorize religious people into five main types:

1. The blesser. This is the person that walks around telling people, "God bless you" but with no real depth to it. The meaning is not there. It is just something that falls out of their mouth to sound religious but their actions speak volumes about how much they could not care.


2. The prayer. This is the person that is quick to say that they will be praying for you, are praying for you, or have been praying for you but you have never ever heard them utter a prayer in your life. Many of us, me included, have probably been here...we say that we will be praying for a situation and never do for whatever reason.


3. The advisor. This is the person that gives advice, especially unsolicited advice, with a heavy dose of religiosity more to hear themselves speak or to sound good. All of this is done without a hint of checking in with the Advisor Himself and with no indication that they follow their own advice.


4. The spiritual elitist. This is the person who has been a Christian for way longer than you have, studies the Bible way more than you have, knows way more scripture than you do, can pray a prayer with way more depth and soul than you ever could think of doing and is just all around has the most spiritual wisdom of all.


5. The legalist. This is the person who has the list of what they perceive to be the do's and don't's of religiosity in their head. They are quick to tell you that you shouldn't do this or that or you are not religious. They have the rulebook held tight against their chest and watch for the infractions of other people around them.

I just want to be real...don't wish blessings upon me unless you check in with God to request that blessing upon me. Do you know what I mean? No, more so, do you know what YOU mean when you say that?? Think about it. "God bless you." Aren't you really saying, "May God bless you..."? So did you turn around to God and actually ask Him to bless me? Check in with Him...He is everywhere. And be specific...you want God to bless me with what exactly? We say this so flippantly these days that it has no meaning but back in the day, it had a fight-to-the-death meaning! If a father blessed his children, it was a HUGE deal! Can you imagine being God and hearing someone say, "God bless you"...with no thought of God Himself? I'm not going to try to stop anyone from asking God to bless me...I'm no dummy...but if you are going to say it, mean it!

I just want to be real...don't tell me you are going to pray for me if you can't even remember the last time you prayed. I realize there are some really great intentions here on most occasions, but why bother to say it if you aren't going to do it. Sometimes I just want to reply with, "will you pray for me right now while I'm standing here?" And one of the worst things that I see people doing is asking for more detail about a situation so they can pray over it more specifically...all in an attempt to get information to feed the gossip vine. If someone asks you to pray for something specific, pray for it. If all they ask is for you to pray, then pray for them as promised. God knows exactly what is going on. Sometimes He is the only one that needs to know. But if you do know what is going on and someone asks for prayer, tell them exactly what you are praying for. Be specific. If you tell me you are going to pray for things in my life to settle down and that isn't what I want I can tell you..."oh no! Pray that God shakes my world up!" See what I mean? But at least....PRAY!

I just want to be real...don't give me advice - and don't take advice from others, if they aren't Godly men or women of God. I want someone to speak into my life that has heard the voice of God...I want someone who is speaking into my life out of love, even when they are telling me that I'm being an idiot about something. I want the outcome to be God-pleasing and God-ordained.

I just want to be real...for you spiritual elitists, you are squashing the spirit of other believers or other people that could be believers if you'd allow them to make mistakes. In my Bible it says that we all fall short of the glory of God...that means we all make mistakes. It is part of life. People should be allowed to make mistakes and not looked down upon for it. No one should be expected to spout out memory verse after memory verse or be judged for it. As each person speaks differently, each person prays differently. They should be allowed to pray in whatever way that they are comfortable doing so and not be frowned upon. What you and your seasoned self have the ability to do is make or break a person...what are you going to do with that?

I just want to be real...for the legalists, put your rule book away. Simply said, you are not in charge!

Please understand that I am not over here pointing my fingers at these people as if I haven't been there from time to time. I'm sure I have been "that" person and others can give you examples of when I have been. But I don't want to be and that is the point. I just want to be real and I want others to be too. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I believe that all four of these types of "religious" traits are what turns so many off from Christianity today. I really don't want to be known as being religious. I don't want people to say, "she got religion" as if it is a disease. I want to just love my creator...the one that chose me to be here...the one that has a path for me to follow...the one that chose to die on the cross for my sins in advance...the one that has shown me forgiveness and mercy over and over and over again...the one that gives me the grace to make mistakes...I just want to love my God.

Instead of being known for being "religious", I'd rather be known for being in love...

Lord I am completely irritated from different things that have happened recently that fall into so many of the categories listed above. I know that I am not without fault but I also know that I don't want to be one of those people again. Help me to keep my eyes on you and just be real. Help me to be a good example of your love. Help me have the patience needed in all situations. More than anything, allow me to stand apart from the norm and have a careless and reckless abandonment with the love that I have for You...

The Beauty

As I sit here in my living room, in the quiet of an early morning while the kids are still sleeping, with the smell of blueberry pancakes cooking on the griddle, I am taken by the beauty of our lives. Just as I write that I am checked in my spirit that it really isn't the beauty of our lives that I am struck by...it is more the beauty of God in our lives.

I heard from an old friend yesterday who just returned from Afghanistan. We took some time to bat back and forth via email to get caught up in each other's lives. From my side I shared with him the recent successes of LaNece and Mario as he told me about looking forward to visiting his granddaughters and family members. It was great to catch up with him and to know that he is home. In his last email to me he said, "you must be a proud mama." My initial reaction was, yes, I am...and then added that even more so, I am thankful.

When I sit here now and think about where we have come from and where God has brought us in our lives, I am overwhelmed to tears. I want to describe what it was like 10 - 12 years ago but the small apartment we lived in, the amount of money I didn't make, none of the materialistic stuff matters. All I can think about is what our lives SHOULD look like today. Had our lives followed the normal pattern, things would be very different.

I remember saying one time, and was totally taken back by the words coming out of my own mouth, that I refuse to allow me and my family to be a statistic. What that meant to me at the time is that I recognize and acknowledge the things that have happened in our lives (domestic abuse, child abuse, poverty, terrible choices on my part, and the list goes on...) but I refuse to allow those circumstances to determine the path and future of my kids - my family. I was refusing to allow that to continue. I was standing up and saying that even if I have to continue with little money, there will be no more abuse, no more pitty parties, even with no help from outside sources, we will stand tall, be the exception to the rule and be strong. We will not wander but we will seek the path that God has for us. We will not rely on others to help us succeed (or fail), but we our home, no matter how small and humble it is, will be filled with love and acceptance. We will love each other and be there for each other.

Fast forward in life ten years. Here we are, two teens, one about to run off to college, one about to go into high school. Over the years I have had to let go of some things...friends, relationships, living conditions, jobs, ministries, churches, specific sports, and other activities. Some of those separations were painful, some left open wounds for a long time, and some have definitely left their marks either by way of a positive lifetime change or by way of a scar.

I have been haunted by something someone said to me a while ago during a separation that I felt I needed to make. They said that I would continue to go through things like this until I learned how to deal with the conflicts, etc. That one sentence attached itself to me and has been stuck on me for a long time now. It became a sore on my heart that has been festering. But as I sit here now, in the quiet, I can clearly see that the separations I have had in my life were for a purpose, scars and all.

For me personally, I know that sometimes things can pretty easily become a distraction. A distraction from my relationship with Christ, a distraction from my relationship with my kids, a distraction from my first priority of being a mom. I know that those things that I have had to take a step back from, whether they made sense to me or to others, have been for a purpose. Those separations, even the really painful ones (and in some cases, ESPECIALLY the painful ones) were absolutely, without question, needed. They were needed so I could focus on the areas of my life that should be getting my attention.

I am thankful that God has given me a path...one that I have to walk on one step at a time...and often have no idea what kind of ground my foot is going to land on. I am thankful that I can rest in the assurance that God has a plan for us, that He will never forsake us, that He has us even when others don't. He gives me life and hope even as others try to to do the opposite. I am thankful that I am able to see the beauty of God in our lives...

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6