Shut your mouth!

I am speaking to me, not to thee!

Have you ever realized that the 18th chapter of Proverbs in the Bible has 8 out of 23 verses that speak about...well...speaking too much. Check it out:

2 - A fool has no delight in understanding, but in expressing his own heart.

4 - The words of a man's mouth are deep waters; the wellspring of wisdom is a flowing brook.

6 - A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calls for blows.

7 - A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul. (ouch!)

8 - The words of a talebearer (gossip) are like tasty trifles (wounds), and they go down into the inmost body.

20 - A man's stomach shall be satisfied from the fruit of his mouth, and from the produce of his lips he shall be filled. (Makes me want to speak nothing but sweetness!)

21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

23 - The poor man uses entreaties, but the rich answers roughly.

Ummm...I'm going to be shutting my mouth now...

The Return

I received a blog post from Perry Noble a few days ago where he spoke about reading from Nehemiah. I can't say that I have been reading anything lately so this morning I decided to not sleep in as I have been, but to get up just past 5 a.m. and spend some time with God.

True to God's work, I felt like God was speaking directly to me as I read the first chapter. It is here that Nehemiah asks Hanani about the Jews that had escaped captivity. Hanai explains to Nehemiah that the survivors are living in great distress and reproach. His response to this news was to weep and mourn, fast and pray.

Nehemiah then goes into a prayer for the Jews and for himself. There are a few parts to this prayer, no wait - almost the entire prayer, that I can relate to today.

In verse 7 of chapter 1 Nehemiah prays and confesses; "We have acted very corruptly against You, and have not kept the commandments, the statues, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses."

I feel like this has been me lately. There is no excuse but in the midst of my recent circumstances (both good and bad) over the last few months I found myself staying up late and using that as an excuse to not get up early to have my time with God. This, in and of itself, is the start of a slippery slope for me. I would imagine everyone has their mountain top. For me, this is mine that only can lead one way; down hill.

From there I have lost my focus on god, and without even realizing it, lost touch with Him. The decisions I made then became my own. My prayers became almost non-existent partly because of the break in my relationship with Him, partly because of the lack of time devoted to Him and prayer, partly because I didn't know what to pray or say. I continued my slippery slide down through my thoughts, the things that came out of my mouth and the compromises that I made.

As I read on this morning I came to the hope that is offered to all of us. In verse 9 Nehemiah is referencing God's commandment and statues to Moses: "but if you return to Me, and keep My commandments and do them though some of you were cast out to the farthest part of the heavens, yet I will gather them from there, and bring them to the place which I have chosen as a dwelling for My name."

This reminds me of the son who wandered but upon coming home his dad welcomed him warmly with open arms and a party. "If you return to me..." All I have to do is return to Him and keep His commandments and He will bring me to the place He has chosen for me. I don't want to be anywhere else. I want to be right there in the place that God has chosen for me.

Going back to the beginning of Nehemiah's prayer I notice that it begins with an acknowledgement of God's character. Don't miss it! It's well worth noticing. Go back to verse 5: "And I said, "I pray Lord God of heaven, O great and awesome God, You who keep Your covenant and mercy with those who love You and observe Your commandments."

Get this, it's a trip, we are able to talk to the Lord God of heaven. He is great! He is awesome! He keeps His covenant! And He is merciful! That is the God that I serve! That is the God that loves me and who is willing to take me to a place that He has chosen just for me. He isn't trying to see me some real estate, a new couch for the house or a new car. He isn't getting His schedule out so we can figure out a good time for us to sit and chant. He is offering Himself, all the time, for eternity. There is no free IPOD if I show up, but there is a never ending relationship...friendship...love fest...with the one and only true God. How incredible is that?!

Lord, I recognize Your greatness. I recognize that You are my source of life. I know that You have allowed me to make the choices I have over the last few months and for many of those choices I am sorry. I want to be back in alignment with You. I know that during the recent events when You have been quiet, You haven't left my side. I know that while I didn't know what to say, You heard my heart. You have carried me and loved me just the same as You always have and I thank You. I am here, Lord, and have returned to sit at Your feet and go where You would have me go. I love you!

Today's Advice

Be the kind of woman that when your feet

hit the floor each morning the devil says,

"Oh Crap, She's up!"

Brace! Egress!

Underwater Egress Simulators, or more commonly known as survival dunk tanks. This is a part of the training for most, if not all, aviators on how to survive a plane crash in the waters. This controlled simulation affords the trainee the opportunity to experience the violent impact of a plane going down in water, the aircraft sinking and then spinning upside down while underwater. It is an unnatural thing. Your breathing has to change. You must keep your wits about you even though you are disoriented in the waters, buckled in, upside down in an enclosed capsule. Most that are trained are also trained in an even more challenging situation: the night. To add to the already tense situation, the person is either trained in the dark or they are required to wear goggles that block out all light.

The interesting thing to note here is that in one way or another all of those that go through this training volunteer for it. They may not go into the training with a strong desire to go through the underwater simulator, but their ultimate goal is to be a pilot or a crew member. To reach their goal, they must get highly educated and go through training that is certain to not be comfortable for them and at times, quite the opposite. But with their goals in mind they dawn all the necessary gear that is even heavier in water. They attend all the required classes. And then they eventually step into the simulator, take a deep breath and plummet to their potential sudden death.

Of course, the simulator is conducted in a controlled environment. The trainer is there to help should there be an emergency situation. However, when the students are doing the simulation as part of their test to be qualified, the instructor cannot say anything. It is solely on the individual to make the right moves, to stay calm even in the dark and the turbulence, to get oriented even when things are upside down and they feel trapped because they are strapped in. The student must brace themselves and rely on the training and education that they have received to egress (escape / get out of) the situation.

How much are our lives like this? Each day we are being educated. Every minute we are being trained in one thing or another. Life is a series of lessons and it is something that we volunteer for, literally. We should recognize that we have been hand picked to be here and to go through this "course", but once here we volunteer to stay until we have finished our final test and get to go home with what we hope to be our ultimate qualification.

At what point in the training are you? Do you have a goal in mind? Do you know what outcome you want to see from your life? And if you have that goal in mind and you are going for it, where are you in your training course? For me, I have a goal in my sights and I volunteer daily to go through the classes and training necessary to be qualified. I know that I will not get a perfect score because I've lost many points already, but my desire is to get the best score that I can so I will ultimately be qualified.

Where am I in the training course? Quite honestly I feel that I am strapped to my seat, trapped in the darkness, submerged in water upside down and frankly, disoriented. I am making all efforts to stay calm, allow some time to get oriented, and I am thankful that I know what I need to do next. I have had many classes on this topic. My instructor is the best there is. But he is now silent and I know why; because I am taking a test. I know that he is near me, watching me, even though I cannot see him through the dark waters, but he is there.

Now is the time for me to unbuckle the straps that hold me in their tight grip. Now is the time to move hand-over-hand feeling my way to the exit, unlock the door that is trapping me in, and push it out of the way. It will only be when I have quietly and calmly completed these things that feel so unnatural to me that I will be able to move through the exits and egress. And only then will I be qualified and pass the test. I recognize that I will likely have to requalify over the years to maintain my goal, but it will be worth it for the "prize" in the end.

Through all of this, one thing is certain...my instructor, even without physically seeing him, is there with me the whole length of the test and is silently cheering me on. I want to make Him proud...

How much is too much?

At church we are currently going through a series called "The Vow". It is a great series about marriage, commitment, etc. On Sunday, something was said that struck me. Pastor Craig talked about how some people share themselves with so many other people and that some of that should be saved to share with your spouse when you have one. By sharing he was talking about not only physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. People share their hearts, their hurts, their desires, etc. with others when that should be saved for marriage.

Well, that got me to thinking about this blog. Do I share too intimately on here? Do I share too much of my heart? Do I share too much of my life, thoughts, feelings, emotions? Should some of this be saved just in case I do happen to get married again one day? I don't know the answer to that.

For many people that I've seen, their blogs consist of more family news than anything else. They are reporting out what the family is up to. Little Johnny got an award, here is sis being silly, etc. I do that, but I don't stick to that.

Then again, what if I were never to marry again? Then who would know my background and experiences and stories to be able to share them with others? Wait...who would really want to? Hmmm...as I'm writing I'm kind of wondering if I fell of the face of the earth today, what would happen to my blog? How many even know it's here? What does it tell of me? Or maybe it just tells on me.

Just a few things to noodle on I guess...

What do you think?

I Am Her

I think I've mentioned that I am currently reading another book by Max Lucado called Cast of Characters: Common People in the Hands of an Uncommon God. This morning I read about the Samaritan Woman at the well. Lucado put a different spin on this story that I had never really considered. Do you ever feel like you read something and although you know what it is saying, you really don't consider it? That is often me, not only in reading but also in conversations. Someone will tell me something and I'll take it at face value alone. I think I've gotten better with thinking about things a bit more and asking questions but this is still an area where I need some work.

To summarize what happens at the well for those that may not be familiar with the story: Jesus stops at a well. Before long a Samaritan woman goes to the well to draw water from it and Jesus asked her for a drink. Jesus was obviously a Jew and so the woman was surprised at the request because at that time Jews would not have anything to do with Samaritans...so for him to ask her for something was just unheard of. Essentially, in the (short) conversation about giving him water the woman is offered a different type of water, a "living water", from Jesus. One that if she drinks it, she will never be thirsty again.

This is where it gets good. When the woman asks Jesus to give her the water he was talking about he instructs her to go get her husband and bring him back. Well, this puts the woman in a bit of a quandary because she isn't married. She is living with a man, has been married five times, but is not married at that time. The response from the woman is an honest one; she doesn't have a husband. Now, put yourself in her shoes when she gets Jesus' response back to her; he confirms that she is right, she has no husband but she has had five and the one she is living with at the time was not her husband either. She must have been dumbfounded but reasons that this man must be a prophet and says as much to him.

So, with an opportunity to glean from this prophet she says that she is aware that the Messiah is coming and that He is called Christ but she doesn't know where he is. Perhaps she wanted the prophet to tell her of Christ's location? Then Jesus breaks the news to her by letting her know, "I am the Messiah!" The woman does what anyone would do, she dropped the bucket of water and ran to tell others in the village that He is there and claiming to be the Messiah.

It was in this story as Lucado told it that I began to get completely engrossed. Think about it.

• Here is this woman who has been married five times and is now divorced from each of those men. With each divorce she feels rejected and unloved. Used and alone. Shame and guilt.
• Everyone in the village knows about her failed marriages, of course, and so not only does she have to live with her own internal shame but she likely has to endure the shame of others through outward comments and ridicule. Perhaps she is considered the village whore or worse. (yes, I said it...)
• She is living with a man who likely is not willing to give her his name by marrying her. I would think that would lead to more shame.
• The weight of the buckets of water is great. In those times the buckets are usually carried on either end of a long stick that goes over the shoulders of the person gathering the water. Can you imagine the weight? The burden of carrying the water on your shoulders for any distance?

But then when the woman meets this man he is kind and gentle with her. He doesn't treat her badly because she is a woman, because she is a Samaritan, nor does he treat her with condemnation even knowing about her multiple failed relationships. He doesn't even turn his back on her knowing that she is living in sin by living with yet another man. No, this Jesus treats her with respect and even offers her something which is probably an event that is never experienced by her. However, this "water" that he offers her is something that will quench the thirst in her soul. You can't get any deeper than that. The well they were next to wasn't even that deep!

What is it that Jesus really wanted from this woman? From what I see, he wanted her. He wanted to give her what she had been looking for all along; Him. I would say that he also wanted her honesty. In those days I don't think that many women questioned a request from a man. But she did. She questioned why he would even speak to her since she was a Samaritan. She was honest in her response about not having a husband. And the bucket(s) of water? Perhaps we could think of those as her burdens. They were burdensome.

I realized after reading through this chapter on the Samaritan woman that I am her. In the past, my life has been filled with and sometimes continues to have heavy burdens (shame, guilt, rejection, loneliness and more) that I choose to carry on my shoulders. Like the Samaritan woman, I too can drop my buckets (burdens) at Jesus' feet. He wants me to be honest with Him in my questions of Him and honest in my answers to Him. He wants to give me what I've always wanted: Him. And it is not the water from the well that He wants, but it is me. He wants to give me the "living water" that will full fill the thirst that I have deep in my soul; that thirst is for Him. I am thankful for the opportunity and take Him up on His offer to drink the water He offers...and drink often.

That Samaritan woman? I am her...

Book Review: Cure for the Common Life

So I've finished the book Cure for the Common Life: Living in Your Sweet Spot by Max Lucado. I would rate it a 9 out of 10 but wouldn't recommend it for someone who isn't looking for a little personal growth.

The main idea of the book is that we all are put here on earth for a purpose and once we take the time to figure out what that purpose is and begin living in it, we will be living in our "sweet spot". What I liked most about this book is that it doesn't just talk about the subject, it also gives new ideas of how to see things and also walks you through the indicators of what your purpose is. There is even some "homework" in the back of the book that if you go through the step-by-step process, it will assist in making your sweet spot clear.

One of the things Lucado writes about is how we were designed for our unique purpose. Designed by God, of course. But that there are indicators of what life we are supposed to lead from very early on in our lives. Personally, I found a trend that since 5th grade I have enjoyed being in the front, leading and teaching. And I love to do those things in new and innovative ways. Helping to lead Sunday school as a little girl to kids that were younger than me, teaching leadership classes to my peers and eventually my Marines, speaking at a Christmas dinner in front of all the folks in our office including the executives and spouses to explain to them the history of Toys for Tots, teaching kindergarten aged girls lessons as Missionettes, leading the Girls Night Out events as the director of the women's ministries back in Cali. These are all examples that came to mind when I went through the writing process at the end of the book. In each of these scenarios I was living in my sweet spot...these times in my life thrilled me...I felt more "alive" than ever...I could never understand why others didn't like to do those things. And lastly, they were all successful situations.

So when you figure out where your gifts are...and when you have been successful at using those gifts...then you have to figure out how to use those gifts in a successful way that is for the purpose of lifting up Christ, honoring God. After all, the bottom line is that we are ALL here to for a purpose that only God has in mind. It is up to us to figure out the what, where, how and with who questions along with the question about how can I use this gift to be a cheerleader for God?

As a mom, this also makes me look at my kids. What gifts are they already showing signs of having? What is it that they do that seems to make them the happiest and where they are the most comfortable. Instead of me trying to make them be something that I want them to be, I need to be careful that I am allowing them to be who they are designed to be, which is really not likely to be anything like me! :-) Not too long ago I started honing in on this concept as I focused on the need to help Mario channel some of his social behavior. Here is a kid who has a huge heart, who is able to discern things about people without ever having a conversation with them, and who absolutely loves to have face-to-face interaction with folks. He has been that way since he was able to walk (and that started early - he was 9 months old when he started to walk!)

I remember when we started attending the church back in Cali how he knew so many people's names, even as a little guy, and EVERYONE seemed to know who he was. He would call people by their first names and go from person to person giving great big bear hugs around their legs because he was so small. Very early on one of the women in the church nicknamed him "Hallelujah" and still calls him that to this day. I think of the time at a pool when a very shady looking character who was outwardly rude and crabby whom I was concerned about the kids interacting with but by the time we were leaving Mario was sitting by him at the hot tub, having a great conversation and they were laughing together. He was maybe 7 years old then. In response to Mario's gifts and passion for personal relationships about two months ago I made arrangements for him to work with the greeters at church to help welcome people to our church and to get to know people, while at the same time learning (I hope) valuable lessons about the importance of serving in the church.

LaNece, on the other hand, is a bit more reserved but has ALWAYS seemed to be a magnet for kids. Babies and even older kids have always been drawn to her and she has consistently demonstrated her ability to positively influence and encourage them. She has two things that stick out for her; 1) the influence with children, and 2) she is unbelievably talented in the area of drawing, creativity and basically anything artsy. She has a desire to be a 2nd grade school teacher and has also dabbled with the idea of being an interior decorator. Believe me, she astonishes me every time she finds a new way to set her room up...and that is often. For now, she is in the normal rotation for working with the children at church. And like today, even when she isn't working back there, at the end of service she still goes back to say hello to her little friends. :-)

And so what about me? Am I currently living in my sweet spot? Well, I love what I do but I wouldn't call it my sweet spot. However, before going through this book I never realized that teaching / leading / being out in front was a sweet spot for me. I have to laugh about how God orchestrates things though. You see, this test that I've been talking about taking to get my certification...it is to be the Principal Trainer for a new system we are putting into the hospital. He is putting me in my sweet spot...now I have a little bit of a different perspective on this new job. I will do my best...but do it with a new zeal...and I will somehow use it to be a cheerleader for God. And I'll have a smile on my face when I do it because I will be living in my sweet spot.

The cure for the common life...my sweet spot. I recommend the book...but be ready for an eye opening outcome...

If you choose to read it, I'd love to hear your feedback! :-)

Not Your Average Girl

Sooo...it has been said that I am not your average girl. I seem to have a love for something that most women don't: weapons. I can't tell you a lot about them, but I can figure out how to fire them, take them apart and put them back together in a very short amount of time. I don't know why, but I can. Typically, I am a pretty good shot too, thus the award for being the high shooter of my platoon in boot camp and being a 4th award expert in the Marine Corps. All the statistics to the side, for some reason, I just love to fire them doggon things.

Knowing my unique love (for lack of better words!) for weaponry, someone from work today sent me something that I had to look at about a thousand times and as I sat there looking at the pictures I couldn't help but just stare - and probably had my jaw dropped to the floor too. Check this out...

Sighting in your expensive new deer rifle:

Shiny new, high-powered deer rifle.............$ 1,200.00

Quality, high-powered scope........................$ 550.00

Bore sighting device.......................................$ 140.00

Hospital Visit...................................................$ 4,893.00

Forgetting to remove the bore sighting device prior to actually firing the thing?....Priceless!

For those of you with weak stomachs, you can thank me later because I spared you the picture of the guy's face afterwards as he was being taken away on a stretcher...

How do you think he missed the BRIGHT PINK thing on the end of his barrel? How?!